Archive for the ‘Uncategorised’ Category

Hurt People, Hurt People

Wednesday, August 24th, 2022

It is often said that hurt people, hurt people. When I hurt, I want you to hurt just as much.

When people are hurting, they can act irrationally and say things they normally wouldn`t say. The problem here is that once the words are out you cannot take them back. The cycle of hurt continues. In this context, we are talking about emotional hurt not being physically hurt.

How do we deal with hurt?

First, we need to recognise where the hurt is coming from.

It could be one incident, multiple incidents, or events.

It is important to remember that we all have choices. You can choose to hold onto the hurt or choose to let go.

It may also be part of the healing journey to forgive someone who has hurt you. Remember that when you forgive, you don’t necessarily free the person who hurt you, but you free yourself from the burden of hurt.

Express all the feelings connected to the hurt. If there is an opportunity to communicate with the person who hurt you. Tell them how they have made you feel. It does not serve you to bottle things up inside and leave the emotion unexpressed.

If you are unable to talk to the person directly you could journal or write a letter (there is no need to send it) this is more about expressing all that you are feeling and all that you are going through.

Be at cause, acknowledge the part that you played in the hurt. Being at cause does not necessarily mean that it was your fault.

Being at cause means that you are not just completely blaming or staying in victim. When we blame others, we are in effect. In effect of a person or situation.

This also stops you from moving forward and letting it go.

Hurt is one of the big 5 negative emotions that impact our lives.

Time Line Therapy ® is one of the most effective ways to eliminate hurt from past events that keep you stuck and still hurting. It allows you to go back to the very first event of hurt in your life (this is something that you may not know consciously. TLT works with the unconscious mind) and then eliminate the emotion from every event of hurt in your life`s Time Line.

#dothework #mmnlp #nlp #hypnosis #hypnosispractitioner #finallyfree #nisi2022 #kerwinrae #timelinetherapy

Interview with Sheena & Aaron from New Earth Collective

Thursday, July 14th, 2022

Interview with Sheena & Aaron from New Earth Collective.

This was soooo much fun and looking forward to another interview soon 🙂

New Earth Entertainment: https://watch.newearthentertainment.org/videos/nlp-master

YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTxdlP8SJxQ

Luke and Carol are a husband and wife team who are dedicated to your growth. Both are NLP trained.

Carol has gone on to become a Master Practitioner and Trainer in NLP, Time Line Therapy ®, Coaching and Hypnosis.

Through using NLP in their private practice Carol and Luke have established a reputation for being heart-centred practitioners who have a high level of integrity, empathy, and compassion in regard to their clients.

It is said that there is no empathy or compassion in NLP however Carol and Luke always get the results that the client is seeking by being this way.

Carol and Luke believe that the world needs more people who are trained in this modality so that more help is available to those who need it and this is why they are now training others to do what they do.

I FEEL ANXIOUS ALL THE TIME

Thursday, July 7th, 2022

I once asked a client “How do you know you have anxiety?”

She sat and looked at me almost in disbelief and after a moment she said, “no one has ever asked me that question before.”

At 19 years old and having seen multiple therapists she ended up coming to see me. I intently watched her physiology. This question had surprised her. As a trainer of NLP, I listen very carefully to the language of my clients. All the answers you seek are in the questions you ask.

People who are trained in NLP know the importance of asking intelligent probing questions.

The questions we ask are not the normal run-of-the-mill “why do you think this or that?” “Why do you think you feel this way?” Why do you think you reacted like that? Blah, blah blah!

You see a “WHY” question is not an empowering question. This type of questioning opens you up to shoulder shrugs and simple ambiguous answers that go nowhere.

So, getting back to my client “How do you know you have anxiety?” Her answer “because a Dr told me.”

The Dr was the authoritarian, the person she believes had all the answers, and because he was a “Dr” he had to be right.

The authoritarian someone you look up to, someone whose words you believe without question.

So, after the “anxiety” diagnosis this beautiful girl wore her anxiety like a big heavy winter coat.

The anxiety was the reason for not playing out 100% in life.

I can’t hold down a job because I have anxiety.

I can`t go out because I have anxiety.

I can`t go shopping because I have anxiety.

I have no friends because I have anxiety.

I can`t leave my house because I have anxiety.

I can`t speak up because I have anxiety.

I have met countless numbers of people who just give up at life because of a diagnosis.

If you are willing to do what it takes, I know that the diagnosis does not have to be the forever reality of your life.

So let`s talk about anxiety from an NLP perspective.

Anxiety is associated with the negative emotion of FEAR.

Anxiety is created when you are focused too far into the future.

Yes, created!

As human beings, we can sometimes get so caught up in worrying about what might happen, what could happen, what if it happens again because it already happened in the past and this is how we create anxiety.

Examples “My last partner cheated, what if the person I am with now does it too?”

“He/she was home late last night maybe they were with someone else?”

“Where are you going, who will you be with, send me a photo to prove it?”

Instead of talking about a possible problem we worry and catastrophise and then obsess over it and then we become anxious.

“Anxiety is a warning from your unconscious mind to focus on what you want.” (Tad James)

The first very important thing that needs to happen is that you start focusing on the now moment. What is happening right now, not in 5 minutes time, an hour from now, 5 hours from now, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Just NOW because this is only now. In 5 minutes, it will be now, in an hour it will be now, and so on.

This also slows the mind and brings us into mindfulness.

The power of breath can also help regulate someone feeling anxious. STOP and just breathe.

Lets’ go back to those important questions.

I also asked, “What specifically are you anxious about?” I once had a client who said “Everything!”

My answer “Everything, how long have you been anxious about everything?”

Her answer “I can`t remember not being anxious. I was an anxious toddler, I was anxious at primary school, high school, it`s always been there.”

Then she said “oh my Mum was scared about everything, she never let me out of her sight. She was overprotective.

So right here we have programming, this was her life, she was bought up in fear. For this client, it was a very important piece of her anxiety puzzle.

The fear was never hers in the first place.

The challenge here is that programming or the way we are brought up contributes to how our life pans out.

Remember “People do the best with the resources they have available to them at the time.

Her mother could not have known that the way she loved her daughter by being overprotective contributed to her having a life filled with anxiety.

The beautiful part of this story is that once my client understood where it came from, we were able to work on a solution and eventually letting it go.

When working with clients I use a combination of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Time Line Therapy® and Hypnosis.

I love this work so much and the results speak for themselves.

#dothework #mmnlp #nlp #anxiety #hypnosis #hypnosispractitioner #finallyfree #nisi2022 #kerwinrae

WHAT SPECIFICALLY IS A LIMITING BELIEF?

Thursday, July 7th, 2022

What specifically is a limiting belief?

A limiting belief is something that we believe to be true that holds us back.

“I can`t hold down a relationship”.

“I`m not good enough”.

“I`m not worthy”

“I doubt all the decisions I make”.

“I am an overthinker”.

“I can`t speak up for myself”.

This list could just go on and on and on.

How are limiting beliefs a problem?

They are a big problem because once we believe these things, we can consciously or unconsciously self-sabotage our life and bring them into our reality.

Now, here`s how.

Let`s just say that someone once said to you “You`ll never be good enough to do or be……………! (Fill in the blank)

Before that statement becomes a limiting belief you have to decide that it is true. The minute you decide it is true, it becomes a belief.

So, all limiting beliefs are preceded by a decision the belief comes after that.

When I have a client who says I can’t do………, I`m not worthy, I`m not a good Mother or Father.

I ask “When did you decide that? A lot of people just look at me dumbfounded. Some will say “I don`t know”, some will

tell me the exact event where they made the decision to believe it and others will say “I have always felt this way”.

The exciting thing is that limiting beliefs can be eliminated. Then turned into new empowering beliefs that will push you forward to achieving all that you desire.

What if “I can`t hold down a relationship become I now attract the right people into my life. My relationship is loving and secure.

What if I`m not good enough becomes I am enough; I love and accept myself just as I am.

What if I`m not worthy becomes I am worthy of having everything my heart desires.

What if I doubt all the decisions, I make becomes I trust myself and all the decisions I make.

What if I am an overthinker becomes, I make decisions that are right for me, and I stick to them.

What if I can`t speak up for myself becomes the words I speak are important it is ok to voice my opinion.

When limiting beliefs are eliminated magic happens.

If you resonate with this let’s chat.

#dothework #mmnlp #nlp #hypnosis #nisi2022 #wecanhelp #limitingbeliefs #somethingsnotright

WE JUST DON”T TALK ANYMORE

Thursday, July 7th, 2022

We just don’t talk anymore & we have nothing in common.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you and your partner have lost touch with each other?

Maybe you just don’t communicate like you used too.

Communication is crucial for a relationship to thrive and survive.

When working with couples the first thing I ask is do you have a vision for your life and relationship.

I am surprised that so many couple’s don’t.

What I mean here is what is it that you want from your relationship?

Sometimes when couples have been together a while and children come along, they lose their focus from each other.

Life becomes all about the children.

This can be dangerous territory because when the kids grow up and become independent some couples find that they have been so out of touch with each other that they no longer have things in common.

When you always put your partner first you become an example for your children. Two loving parents who support each other`s needs and are  always in touch with each other while raising a family together.

What are your goals together?

What are the things that you value the most?

Are you both on the same page with your wants, needs and desires?

These are all great topics for discussion.

Make time for each other.

When was the last time you had a date night?

Do you know your partner`s Love Language?

To find out go here https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

The 5 Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Giving Gifts

Knowing your partner`s love language changes everything.

To find out more contact Carol about her Relationship Recharge Program

Get Your Relationship back on track.

#hypnosis #mmnlp #nlp #relationshiprecharge #couples #relationships

I FEEL ANGRY ALL THE TIME

Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

I feel Angry all the Time.

Do you find yourself unable to control your anger?

Do you lose your temper easily?

Do you sometimes overreact?

Do you find yourself having little or no patience?

Are you prone to angry violent outbursts and afterward left wondering how or why did that happen?

You could be experiencing anger due to past trauma, unaddressed negative emotions, fear of judgement, negative experiences, relationship issues, exhaustion and overwhelm etc.

The challenge is that holding onto anger within the nervous system is dangerous for health.

Holding onto anger also gives you the capacity to hurt others. That could be either physically, verbally, emotionally, or mentally.

The body can be affected with physical signs and symptoms of including increased blood pressure, Increased heart rate (therefore ongoing symptoms could in some cases cause heart attack), tingling sensation, muscle tension, headache.

Anger is the first of the big 5 negative emotions. The other 4 are Sadness, Fear, Hurt, and Guilt.

It is important to first recognise that there is a problem with anger.

Not dealing with it can be destructive to all areas of life including adding stress to family relationships. Friendships can fall apart, and some people even lose their employment.

From an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) perspective it is important to get to the root cause of all the anger. Where did it come from in the first place?

There are some people who carry anger and resentment from childhood experiences, others could be angry about a failed relationship or job. The problem is that holding on and carrying this emotion holds us back from living our best life.

This problem can be solved.

I would love to chat further if you feel that this is you.

The solution could be just around the corner.

I Feel Sad All The Time

Monday, July 4th, 2022

Is this YOU? I feel so sad all the time.

Do you know excessive sadness can be linked to depression?

This could be brought on by past experiences or a series of significant emotional events.

When you feel overwhelming sadness, from a holistic point of view you are living in and reliving past events where the negative emotion of sadness is strongly associated.

In some cases, clinical help may be sought out however I have had many successes where depression and feelings of sadness from past events have been completely eliminated using NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and Time Line Therapy®.

This process works with the unconscious mind to find the very first-ever event of sadness thus eliminating sadness on all events moving forward.

This process allows someone to say goodbye to the emotional attachment to their past.

It is also important to set up Healthy Habits.

When sadness is overwhelming, you may just want to stay inside.

Go outside into nature and breathe fresh air.

Sunshine boosts serotonin in the brain, therefore assisting you to feel happy.

Exercise even walking can help release endorphins for another boost of feel-good feelings

Drink plenty of water. Increasing your water intake keeps you hydrated and improves your mood.

Get a good night’s sleep, set up a regular and consistent bedtime, and wake-up time.

Turn off screens 60 mins before bed.

Reduce the amount of time spent on social media. It is easy to get caught in that trap of comparing our reality to someone else`s fake life on Instagram or Facebook.

Listen to music that helps you feel good and dance.

Smile

Be around those who will lift you up not make you feel worse.

Talk to those who can help you rather than talking to those who could possibly keep you feeling sad.

To learn more book in a FREE clarity call – https://mindsetmasterynlp.lpages.co/thank-you-11-call/

Join us for our 90 Day Reset ( 7 Days FREE )

https://mindset-mastery-nlp.teachable.com/p/raise-your-vibe

When Enough is Enough

Friday, July 1st, 2022

Most people seek out change when they are at a point of enough is enough, when things become unbearable.

“I can`t take this anymore”

“I`m at the end of my rope”

“I can`t see a way forward”

“I`ve hit rock bottom”

When change is sort, usually people are so far down into the vortex of pain (emotionally, physically, spiritually, in relationships, or within themselves) that they feel that they have no options.

As the saying goes if nothing changes, nothing changes.

There is usually a breakdown before a breakthrough.

Here are some of the problems I have been presented with.

I have no confidence no self-esteem, I take on everyone else`s problems and never take care of myself, I can`t communicate with my partner, I can`t let go of my past, I don`t trust myself or anyone, I can`t speak up for myself, I can`t hold down a relationship, I don`t know how to communicate properly, I let people walk over me, I have anxiety, I have depression, My past trauma stops me living the life I want, I don`t know how to say no, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis.

All these problems have been solved and yes if the problem has been present for a long time, we will have to dig deep to find the root cause.

When I ask “how long has this problem been present it`s incredible that most of my clients say my entire life” or “I can`t ever remember not being like this”

So, problems are so deep that it takes time to unearth it, dissect it, and loosen the grip.

My client knows their problems like they would know a best friend and sometimes losing their problems is exactly that, like losing their best friend.

Some people get scared when they know deep within the core of their being that if they don`t do something it could be detrimental to their health or even their relationships.

Some believe they really don`t know who they will be without their problem.

This is when secondary gain rears its ugly head. This is when the client really believes that releasing and letting go of their problem is in fact way more painful than keeping it.

You see doing this work with me I know you will change; you will be different; you may not even recognise the new you.

With growth, there is also loss, and this is where sometimes choices are made.

You see, when you heal, people may treat you differently. When you heal you don`t seek the attention you once needed so desperately. When you heal there will be those who you no longer resonate with or need.

You see misery loves company so when you get people together who sit around talking about their problems this not only keeps you stuck but you are bonding with others through trauma (Trauma bonding).

I remember many years ago before my own healing journey I was so stuck. So stuck that my life revolved around my unhappiness, and this was all I could focus on. I didn`t even realise until after I had taken action to move forward, and a beautiful friend said to me one day “That`s why I had to just back away and out of your life. For a little while” I was so far in the vortex of my pain I didn`t even realise that I was pushing people away. All I could talk about my pain of a bad relationship that was literally sucking the life out of me.

With growth, there is also gain.

You gain the outcome that you want, you gain a new perspective, you gain new strategies and tools, you gain new insights into old patterns and behaviours, you gain confidence and your life back.

The big question that I ask all my potential clients is what has the problem cost you so far?

These are typical responses

My health, relationships, sleepless nights, my mental health, and sometimes my job.

If this is resonating How much longer are you going to wait to get the help you need?

Let`s see if working with me would be a good fit for you?

Have your limiting beliefs become your reality?

Tuesday, June 28th, 2022

What is it that holds you back?

Have your limiting beliefs become your reality?

#mmnlp #nlp #hypnosistraining #hypnosis #nisi2022

 

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